What does the Bible say about a wife's submission in marriage?
The Bible clearly teaches about a wife's submission in marriage, outlining a theological framework rooted in creation and Christ's relationship with the church. This teaching emphasizes a husband's loving leadership and a wife's respectful cooperation within a mutually honoring relationship. It's crucial to understand that biblical submission is not about inferiority, but about order, roles, and a shared pursuit of God's design for marriage. This teaching is often misunderstood, but a careful look at Scripture reveals its true nature as a call to mutual flourishing under God.
Biblical submission refers to a wife's respectful deference to her husband's leadership, understood within a framework of mutual love and honor.
Understanding Submission in Scripture
The concept of a wife's submission in marriage is primarily found in the New Testament epistles, notably in Ephesians, Colossians, and 1 Peter. The most well-known passage is Ephesians 5:22-33. Here, wives are exhorted to "submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord" (Ephesians 5:22). This command is immediately followed by the husband's command to "love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" (Ephesians 5:25). This pairing is crucial for understanding biblical submission. It’s not a standalone command but part of a larger, reciprocal call to Christ-like living within marriage.
The Greek word for submission, hypotassō, literally means to "place under" or "arrange under." In the biblical context, it refers to a voluntary attitude of deference and cooperation, not forced subservience. It implies a recognition of a God-given order rather than an inherent inferiority of one spouse. Paul grounds this order in the created order, stating in 1 Corinthians 11:3 that "the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God." This hierarchical language is often a point of contention and varied interpretation among Christians.
The Nature of a Wife's Submission
Biblical submission is characterized by respect and cooperation. 1 Peter 3:1-6 encourages wives to be submissive to their husbands, even those who do not believe, through their conduct and a "gentle and quiet spirit." This passage highlights that a wife's submission is an internal disposition that outwardly manifests in actions that honor her husband and seeks the good of the marriage. It is a posture of humility and a willingness to follow his leadership, particularly in areas of decision-making and direction for the family.
Crucially, biblical submission is never presented as absolute. It is qualified by the phrase "as to the Lord" (Ephesians 5:22), meaning that a wife's ultimate allegiance is to Christ. Therefore, if a husband were to command something contrary to God's clear will, a wife's first duty would be to obey God (Acts 5:29). This establishes a vital boundary for submission, safeguarding against abuse or ungodly demands. Submission is also not a call for a wife to surrender her intellect, voice, or spiritual gifts within the marriage. Many passages emphasize mutual respect and the wife's vital role as a helper (Genesis 2:18), partner, and co-heir of God's grace (1 Peter 3:7).
Submission within a Mutually Edifying Relationship
While the Bible explicitly calls wives to submit, the broader context of New Testament teaching on marriage emphasizes mutual love, respect, and servanthood for both husband and wife. Ephesians 5:21 commands all believers, including husbands and wives, to "submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." This verse precedes the specific instructions to wives and husbands, suggesting an overarching attitude of humility and service that permeates all Christian relationships, including marriage. While there are distinct roles, the spirit of mutual submission undergirds the entire marital dynamic.
The husband's call to love his wife as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25) is a sacrificial, self-giving love. This kind of love creates an environment where a wife can safely and joyfully submit, knowing her husband truly seeks her good and well-being. When both husband and wife live out their biblical callings – the husband loving sacrificially and leading with humility, and the wife respectfully submitting and partnering – the marriage reflects the glory of God and becomes a powerful witness to the world. It’s a partnership where both are equally valued in the sight of God, but distinct roles contribute to harmony and order.
Bible verses about submission in marriage
"Wives, be in subjection unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, being himself the saviour of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives also be to their husbands in everything."
"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself up for it; that he might sanctify it, having cleansed it by the washing of water with the word, that he might present the church to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. Even so ought husbands also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his own wife loveth himself:"
"In like manner, ye wives, bein subjection to your own husbands; that, even if any obey not the word, they may without the word be gained by the behavior of their wives; beholding your chaste behaviorcoupledwith fear. Whoseadorninglet it not be the outward adorning of braiding the hair, and of wearing jewels of gold, or of putting on apparel; but let it be the hidden man of the heart, in the incorruptible apparel of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner aforetime the holy women also, who hoped in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection to their own husbands: as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose children ye now are, if ye do well, and are not put in fear by any terror."
"Wives, be in subjection to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them."
"subjecting yourselves one to another in the fear of Christ."
"And Jehovah God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a help meet for him."
"But Peter and the apostles answered and said, We must obey God rather than men."
"But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God."
Frequently asked
Does biblical submission mean a wife is inferior to her husband?
No, biblical submission does not imply inferiority. Scripture consistently teaches that men and women are equally created in God's image and are co-heirs of the grace of life (Genesis 1:27; Galatians 3:28; 1 Peter 3:7). Submission in marriage refers to an ordering of roles and responsibilities, not a statement about inherent worth or dignity. It's analogous to how Christ submits to the Father, yet is fully God (1 Corinthians 15:28).
What if a husband is not loving or is abusive?
Biblical submission is predicated on a husband's loving, Christ-like leadership. If a husband is abusive, either physically, emotionally, or spiritually, the wife's safety and well-being, and her primary allegiance to Christ, take precedence. Submission does not mean enduring abuse. In such cases, seeking help, ensuring safety, and discerning appropriate separation or divorce, in line with biblical principles, is essential. The church should support and protect victims of abuse.
Is 'submission' the same as 'obedience'?
While related, 'submission' and 'obedience' are not identical in this context. Obedience often implies following direct commands, whereas submission refers more to an attitude of respectful deference, cooperation, and willingness to follow leadership. Children are commanded to obey their parents (Ephesians 6:1), and slaves to obey masters (Ephesians 6:5), but wives are called to *submit* to their husbands. This distinction highlights the voluntary and relational nature of a wife's posture in marriage, compared to the more absolute obedience expected in other relationships.
How does this teaching apply in modern marriages?
The core principles of a wife's respectful submission and a husband's sacrificial love remain relevant. In modern marriages, this often translates into a wife's willingness to support her husband's vision for the family, to defer to his leadership in key decisions, and to respect his role. Simultaneously, the husband's call to love his wife as Christ loved the church means he prioritizes her well-being, listens to her input, and leads in a way that serves and builds her up. It's about a partnership where each spouse thrives within God-given roles, working together for the glory of God and the good of their family.
Are there different views on submission among Christians?
Yes, Christians hold different views on the practical outworking and interpretation of submission. "Complementarians" believe that men and women have distinct, God-given roles in marriage and the church, with husbands having a headship role and wives submitting to that leadership. "Egalitarians," while affirming the equal worth of men and women, believe that leadership in marriage should be shared based on gifting and agreement, rather than gender. Both views seek to honor Scripture, but arrive at different conclusions regarding the structure of marriage roles.