Can a Christian remarry after divorce?
The question of remarriage after divorce is one that touches deeply on many lives and brings forth both pastoral care and theological reflection. The Bible upholds the sanctity and permanence of marriage as a divine institution, viewing it as a lifelong covenant between one man and one woman, mirroring Christ's relationship with the Church. However, scripture also addresses the painful reality of divorce, offering guidance and principles that, while sometimes challenging to interpret, ultimately aim to reflect God's grace and justice.
While the Bible consistently upholds marriage as a lifelong covenant, it also acknowledges situations where divorce and subsequent remarriage may be permissible under specific circumstances, though interpretations vary.
The teaching of Jesus on marriage and divorce is foundational for Christians. In Matthew 19:3-9, Jesus directly addresses the Mosaic allowance for divorce (Deuteronomy 24:1-4). The Pharisees questioned him, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any cause?" Jesus responded by pointing back to creation, stating, "Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh" (Matthew 19:5, quoting Genesis 2:24). He then declared, "So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate" (Matthew 19:6). This powerful statement underscores the divine origin and intended permanence of marriage. Jesus then directly critiques the Mosaic law, saying that Moses permitted divorce "because of your hardness of heart."
The "Except For" Clause
Central to the Christian discussion on remarriage is Jesus's "exception clause." In Matthew 19:9, Jesus states, "And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery." A similar phrase appears in Matthew 5:32. This "except for sexual immorality" (Greek porneia) is the primary ground for disagreement among Christians regarding the permissibility of divorce and remarriage. Some interpret porneia broadly to include a range of sexual sins and spiritual unfaithfulness, arguing that it breaks the one-flesh union and therefore permits divorce and subsequent remarriage. Others interpret porneia more narrowly, perhaps referring specifically to pre-marital unchastity discovered after marriage, or viewing it as a ground for legal separation but not necessarily remarriage while the first spouse is still alive.
Pauline Teaching on Divorce and Remarriage
The Apostle Paul also addresses marriage and divorce, particularly in 1 Corinthians 7. He instructs believers, "To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife" (1 Corinthians 7:10-11). This reiterates Jesus's teaching on the permanence of marriage. However, Paul introduces another important consideration: the "desertion clause."
In 1 Corinthians 7:15, Paul writes, "But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace." Many evangelical traditions interpret this verse to mean that if an unbelieving spouse abandons a believing spouse, the believing spouse is free to remarry. The argument is that the desertion by the unbelieving spouse dissolves the marriage covenant from their end, releasing the abandoned believer. Others take a more conservative stance, suggesting that "not enslaved" refers to being free from the obligation to remain with the deserting spouse, but not necessarily free to remarry.
Key Interpretations and Pastoral Approaches
Given these passages, there are generally three main views on remarriage after divorce within orthodox Christianity:
1. No Remarriage: This view holds that marriage is indissoluble, and remarriage after divorce, while the original spouse is still living, is never permissible, considering it adultery. This interpretation often emphasizes the permanence of the "one flesh" union regardless of legal divorce. They often interpret the "except for sexual immorality" clause as only permitting separation, not remarriage.
2. Remarriage for Adultery or Desertion: This is perhaps the most common evangelical view. It permits remarriage for the "innocent party" whose spouse has committed adultery (porneia) or who has been deserted by an unbelieving spouse. This view sees these specific instances as breaking the marriage covenant in a way that frees the innocent party to remarry.
3. Remarriage for Broader Reasons: A less common, but still present, view interprets the biblical grounds more broadly, sometimes allowing for remarriage in cases of severe abuse or other destructive behaviors that fundamentally violate the marriage covenant, even if not explicitly defined as porneia or desertion. This approach often emphasizes God's grace and compassion for those who have experienced deep betrayal and suffering.
It is crucial to approach this topic with both biblical fidelity and pastoral sensitivity. The aim is always to uphold the sanctity of marriage while also ministering with grace and understanding to those who have experienced the pain and brokenness of divorce. Individual situations are complex, and prayerful discernment, often in consultation with wise church leaders, is essential.
Bible verses about remarriage
"And he answered and said, Have ye not read, that he who made them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh? So that they are no more two, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder."
"And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and he that marrieth her when she is put away committeth adultery."
"But unto the married I give charge, yea not I, but the Lord, That the wife depart not from her husband (but should she depart, let her remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband); and that the husband leave not his wife."
"Yet if the unbelieving departeth, let him depart: the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us in peace."
"Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh."
"When a man taketh a wife, and marrieth her, then it shall be, if she find no favor in his eyes, because he hath found some unseemly thing in her, that he shall write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house. And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man’s wife. And if the latter husband hate her, and write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house; or if the latter husband die, who took her to be his wife; her former husband, who sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after that she is defiled; for that is abomination before Jehovah: and thou shalt not cause the land to sin, which Jehovah thy God giveth thee for an inheritance."
"but I say unto you, that every one that putteth away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, maketh her an adulteress: and whosoever shall marry her when she is put away committeth adultery."
Frequently asked
Does divorce automatically mean I can remarry?
Not necessarily. While some interpretations allow for remarriage in specific circumstances like adultery or desertion by an unbelieving spouse, other interpretations maintain that remarriage is not permissible while the first spouse is alive. The Bible emphasizes reconciliation and upholding the marriage covenant if at all possible. It is important to prayerfully consider your specific situation and seek guidance from trusted spiritual mentors, keeping in mind the biblical principles involved.
What is the meaning of 'sexual immorality' (porneia) in Matthew 19:9?
The term *porneia* (sexual immorality) in Matthew 19:9 is a key point of discussion. Some scholars interpret it broadly to encompass a range of sexual sins and spiritual unfaithfulness that violate the marriage covenant. Others understand it more narrowly, perhaps referring specifically to pre-marital unchastity or incestuous relationships. The interpretation of this term significantly impacts one's view on the permissibility of divorce and remarriage.
What if I was divorced before I became a Christian?
Many theologians and pastors believe that when a person becomes a Christian, their past sins, including a previous divorce, are forgiven through Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17). While the ideal of lifelong marriage remains, God's grace extends to cover past brokenness. In such cases, if a divorced individual was already remarried before conversion, or seeks to remarry after conversion, many churches would not view this as an ongoing state of adultery, particularly if the previous marriage ended prior to their faith in Christ. The focus shifts to living faithfully in their current marriage and before God.
How should the Church support those who have been divorced?
The Church is called to be a community of grace and healing. For those who have experienced divorce, this means offering compassion, support, and a safe space for lament and healing. Churches should provide pastoral care, counseling, and discipleship that helps individuals process their pain, understand biblical principles, and move forward in a way that honors God. It involves upholding God's ideal for marriage while also extending mercy and understanding to those who have experienced its breakdown.
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